Depression can take a terrible tole on one’s life and on ones loved ones too. The last post i made included a painting of a nuthatch in our red-bud. I actually had begun this painting almost 2 years ago and was only recently able to return to it and finish it by painting in the tree branches. For over a year i have struggled to return to the intense happiness that painting used to bring. i don’t know yet where my story will end but i can say that it is so important to have people who care and believe in you. If you know of someone suffering from depression don’t give up on them.
For me a turning point surely occurred when I discovered this early photo of me on the breakfast table a few weeks ago.
It was snapped while I was out sketching on the hillside behind the trailer we used to live in up in Vermont. With the photo was just a little note in my husbands hand,”I’d like this person back.” It makes all the difference to know someone cares. He loves the artist in me, and knowing that is so important to me.
I am working on finding and reconstructing her. it may take a while but I’ll do my best. If I post less frequently its because I only want to post solid accomplishments: paintings i feel good about. In the mean time I continue to avidly read your posts and deeply appreciate your comments. Keep up the good camaraderie and enjoy your work! And, please don’t forget to look for mine rare though it may be!
I shall repeat this poem of Rumi’s from my last post. For me it speaks volumes.
My Dear Readers, I am so sorry if I have not responded to you.
Recently I began to notice that my Word Press Reader contained things which were not showing up in my Inbox and wondered that no one had contacted me. Finally at the suggestion of my husband I checked the spam folder on my account. For months, perhaps even since I began this blog last summer comments, likes, and contacts, even new posts have been treated as spam by my computer. Only items from the last month are still available in that folder. My chest already hurts 24/7. This breaks my heart. From now on I will be checking the spam folder as well as my inbox and I will try to solve this misbehavior on the part of my computer.
“Contacts” (found in the header above my post) is an excellent way to reach me privately and will not show up as a comment on my blog. Please feel free to use it-I’ll make sure it doesn’t end up in spam again. Otherwise likes and comments are always appreciated and posts are eagerly anticipated.
You are an awesome community of artists and writers and all very special to me.
your Angel in the dust (again!)
On a happier note: the crocuses are blooming, a purple river with whitecaps all along the drive and the cardinal wakes the morning with his lilting melody. I even planted some lettuce seeds and prepared a row for snow peas. A year has passed and spring is back (at least in this hemisphere!). Will we all grow and send out blossom? that is my hope for you.
-help me find the joy to paint again. It is possible-it must be.—somehow.-
Too many of these songs are mine in content and spirit. Sometimes even the words are exactly right on target; ouch!
Trying to untangle my heart from my work knowing they both define who I am and realizing I can’t let one being broken also break the other nor, being the basically optimistic and happy creature that I am, can I built my art on unhappiness and sorrow although historically many artists have. Somewhere out there the sun will shine again. And even if it’s only a one word comment such as, “beautiful”, that will give me a magic moment.
And, yes, I am plying the paint brush only there is no magic just now and I am unable to share mud with my dear readers. They deserve better.
Sketching in watercolor
Everywhere i look, even now at this computer looking out my rain-streaked window at grey roofs and an overcast sky, i am seeing beautiful things to paint. This island is an artist’s paradise. However, i shall have to wait to share my little attempts at catching some of the magic until i get home as I neglected to pack the patch cord needed to upload photos of my work to the computer. john just showed me how to transfer photos direct from the flash card-Whee and i am now on Firefox again courtesy of john (he paints in oil and is very accomplished)
But my heart is singing as i am free to paint whatever i see and already have several little sketches to share. Last night i went inquest of the full moon over the water and learned the importance of packing a flashlight. It is in my kit now. today I’ll go looking for surf when the rain abates and visit two of the studios open to the public. There are more than 20 to visit as one is able.
And the cottage i am staying in is perfect. This week there are only three of us, a lovely couple and myself leaving two rooms vacant so it is very quiet. I have almost complete run of the kitchen as they prefer to eat out. It’s like having one’s own private place on the island at a fraction of the cost. I’ll be back!
your angel in the dust-slightly salty-
I believe I have been posting to this blog now for just a month. While it may have served some purpose it still is not formatted as I would like to have it and making those changes now is not possible. However, for those who know me personally, I am not a quitter so eventually I will achieve my goal.
Speaking of “personal” a blog by its nature is not. Further, posting each day requires time beyond my ability to give.
So… Dear readers, whoever you may be, I will be posting less often and I will be limiting my posts to low resolution images of the watercolor work I do. If time allows I might include those poems or photos of mine which have universal appeal.
I look forward to comments on my work.Perhaps without the blog devouring my time there will be more work to publish?