There’s such a lot of world to see-Breakfast at Tiffany’s-
Moon River, wider than a mile,
I’m crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you’re going I’m going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There’s such a lot of world to see.
We’re after the same rainbow’s end–
waiting ’round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.
Last night I finally got myself back to a figure drawing session. This is the watercolor sketch which came out of the evening.
Sessions usually consist of 10 very dynamic 2 minute poses followed by several 5 minute poses and 10 minute poses and ending with a long pose which the model will hold for 2 or possibly 3 20 minute sessions. I usually work in charcoal or pencil for the short poses concentrating on various aspects of the pose or parts of the model and then switch to watercolor for the long pose. Sometimes I work directly in pen (sharpie) when I am feeling confident. This time I was struggling just to be there and draw at all so I am pleased to have done this much. I always work large this one is 18”x24”. The paper is 100 lb Bristol –very unforgiving worked vertically on an easel so one can not really use washes or flood the paper. got back rather late so-
No watercolor today but I did do a bit of work in the ceramics studio between my walk and a visit to the doctors. I need to do the mares tails clouds I saw this morning. Images like this sit on my mind and literally keep me awake-how can I get them to happen in watercolor?
Angel in the dust
(and yes, last nights model really is this “well endowed”)
Today has been a day of clouds and silver-tipped trees outlined against the sky.
My travels take me outwards from the center like the travel lines on a spider web. Some of the roads are dirt and some are paved state highways. One heads north and anchors me to the mountains and another east to connect me with the ocean. The one which reaches out to the western hills is closed to me now but, one heads south and connects me to cities and art and performance. I’ll take that tonight to resume the figure drawing I’d let go. Ghosts haunt all of them and make travel difficult; yet if I don’t travel off the hill will there be a new day?
I often find myself almost assaulted on daily walks and drives by images and ideas that beg to be painted. But, recently painting has been beyond my will. Trying to paint brings me great pain and unhappiness. I keep asking for the magic to return. – Asking, “Where have you gone?” Oh, I know, “you just need to want to make it happen.” But, what do I want? I want to be happy, happy painting. Why then just paint only something is missing.
-Just try, and try again. Try even when you fail.
Coyote cubs serenade an evening too soft for witches.
Dog Moon caught in the old oak lighting liquid colors too dark to paint.
Road in a yellow wood.
An unexpected glimpse ever so brief, yet so real, brings anxiety, anger, and despair, until Happiness comes and floods out every other emotion. Could this be the key to unlocking the moment? How can one paint the wonder of quickened breathing and the beating of a heart? Can I hold onto this moment? And, try, try again.
Losing your Muse can be debilitating if nor fatal. Exhaustion is the next killer. Taking on too many projects is simply a bad idea. I am guilty of all three vices and currently paying the price. So here are simply some more figure drawings from my collection in no particular order.
This one was done a long time ago and the one just above it is also from sometime ago. I kind of wish I had dated them. It’s interesting to look for progress. I think the 4th one is the best in this group. As our Pilates teacher says’ “practice makes progress-never perfect”. and so it is in everything we attempt.
I’ll get back to work in watercolor if I can ever regain perspective and balance; but with classes in Pilates, yoga, ceramics, art history, figure drawing, church choir not to mention house and garden and family- oh, and eating and sleeping and trying to do this blog-i am finding precious little time for watercolor. Worst of all, all this activity is doing nothing to balance and hush my mind.
And so once again I have taken on more than I can be successful at: I inadvertently chose a website theme which will not support the format I need for my work. Impulsive as always I opened my blog without doing the necessary research and now to continue I must change themes, reformat, and basically start all over. I have neither the time nor energy to do that and so I am going to make do with what is here. With apologies to my friend who really doesn’t want to look at dozens of figure studies I am going to post some over the next few days from the hundreds I have done. They are an interesting study in growth in visual awareness and in the ongoing struggle for control over this slippery medium. I will have to leave it up to the viewer to decide their progression as being me I never dated them and they were never filed in any methodical way.
one of the early studies above and two more recent below:
some are cropped to be more”acceptable”
This seems to be who I am- a chaotic dreamer of dreams reaching beyond what is possible and unable to accept what is. But I do know that I am unwilling to spend time fighting this computer just to get the blog restructured in an attempt to display them well. So here are a few to start with using the format that I have. And while this post is up I have poetry to write and another version of the marsh painting under way. If hope could enter my heart once more oh then my brush would dance.I can imagine the possible and it is glorious!
All these things take time of which there is so little when hope has fled.