Magic Moments- somewhere in time

Somewhere in time i knew you well.

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Pencil drawing of a white rose done while waiting for my Mother on Star Island 2013

Our souls are autonomous; expressed perhaps through our physical being and reflected in our relationships with others but they are independent of us or…well we really don’t know do we? So when one dies what happens to their soul? Where does it go and what does it do? Is it dependent on time at all? Or is only its expression dependent on time?

The idea of soul is a beautiful thing and one which can give great solace or great pain. I happen to believe that we each do have souls. I believe that because how else can I explain the extrasensory perception I have experienced and that has been confirmed from time to time to be absolutely real in time. There has to be a ‘me’ external of my physical being for those things to have occurred.

When a loved one dies each of us may say, “May her Soul rest in peace”, and each will have their own reality in mind. The soul of the departed will be as it will. Let us wish it well and filled  with happiness, and contentment wherever it may be.

And so I wish contentment for my mother, Jeanne Robert Ott Saunders who physically left us a little after 1:30 this beautiful summer afternoon, August 11, 2017. She opened her eyes briefly for my husband, Jamie, and died peacefully shortly thereafter. She was at home where she wanted to be under my sister, Erika’s care. She got to see and be with all her children during her last few days. She would have celebrated her 99th Birthday in a week on August 25th.

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Jeanne on Star Island 2002 pointing out Norman’s favorite flower, the tiny blue-eyed lily.

May her soul rest in Peace-the peace of our love for her-that connection we have had and continue to have with her somewhere in time. And may it bring us peace, contentment, and happiness to know she is there. I’d like to think she has finally joined our father, Norman, and is also with her father, “Daddy Roar”. Her real presence is missed by all of us. It has been a long good-bye following a vibrant life.

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Jeanne at Leland house 2016. “Consider the lilies how they grow… And yet i say… Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these.” She loved the simple beauty of the natural world, the beauty of music, art, poetry, and most of all dance.

Holly (angel in the dust)

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Love Selflessly

and again more poetry with apologies to those who are following watercolor- but this is me. And, Oh, I did spend yesterday happily doing a watercolor of my friend doing an oil painting of the West Meadow, I’ll get that posted when i return from Boston. For now this poem by Owen Servant is a must-share. i hope it strikes a cord with you.

No Talent For Certainty

Love selflessly and you will pay the price
of what it is to give and not receive –
the heart of flame, returned with touch of ice;
a soul encumbered, longing to believe;
the joy that is, at once, a call to grieve
within the emptiness of letting go —
but love is worth it, worth it, even so.

Love selflessly, and time will halt its course
and lay upon your mind the universe;
at every turn to press with so much force
that feels a maledictive sort of curse –
a swirling mist the heart cannot disperse
that magnifies what we’d least like to show —
but love is worth it, worth it, even so.

There’ll be an ebb, of course, with every flow:
but love is worth it, worth it, even so.

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MAGIC MOMDENTS-THE POWER OF WORDS

a poem re- blogged from NoTalentforCertainty.wordpress.com

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sketch of Esperanza done for an advent calendar

A life unfinished, glowering in the distance,
A diffidence, a shyness from the day;
The slow conceit that happiness is wanting,
A careful plan turned into throwaway.

The birds know things, I think, that I’m still learning,
Like how we must move on, sometimes, to live —
I see them round the palace in the morning.
We’re made to take; we have to learn to give.

There’s moisture on the windows of my vision,
As though the night had cried itself to sleep;
I hear the distant calls of faint derision,
Resentment for the company I keep.

It’s up the hill: my fate, my destination,
To Movingstock, to live among the crows,
And breathe a song of maybe-new tomorrows,
And feel each passing season as
It goes

by Owen servant

Magic Moments-Lilies

Again. This is the third try-

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111/2×15 soft cold press

(I will try Aurolian yellow next time instead of Quinquidrone Gold and will stay with Vermillian and Prussian blue with raw and burnt sienna. I’ll also leave out brilliant orange i think. it’s funny i thought the gold might work but i can’t lift it and somehow it ended up looking grey. In landscapes it adds a wonderful quality to the greens and browns but not here. And the orange seems opaque to me.)

I’m not playing by the rules of three strikes you’re out because I’m not satisfied. So I’ve started another one. I want the sun to turn on in my picture!

Stay tuned Carsten Wieland has given me an idea.

Holly

Magic Moments- It’s a Strange Life

Thunderstorms and sketch of the bend in the river at Satan’s Kingdom.

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Traffic on the highway bridge above me lends a surreal feeling to an already surreal day. All around me people i love are hurting and i can’t help them. I don dark framed new glasses, and strappy platform shoes I bought this afternoon on impulse. I think I’m losing my mind or just reacting to the reality of its loss. Who the ___ am I and why am i alive? I don’t have any answers just heartache and unanswered questions, a CD, and a bottle of Jack Daniels. The music and songs deepen the anguish in my heart. An evening with friends last night seems a light year past. Plans for tomorrow so irrelevant. Nothing soothes. “Sometimes it seems this whole life ain’t nothing but a long Good bye, nothing but a long Good bye”…. Odd I’d like to dance a polka right now. i often want to dance and have no one to dance with….Maybe a brush can dance?

I guess it’s time to try painting those foolish lilies again. Golden in the light they’re a symbol of the beauty of this world we are all so lucky to share.

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“Didn’t nobody teach you there’s a time and place for every thing? Didn’t nobody teach you here’s a method to this madness, my Dear? Didn’t nobody tell you? Didn’t nobody teach you?”

Angel in the dust

Magic Moments-suspended

Time stands still when i am painting making it a very good occupation for an otherwise troubled mind.

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These lilies were suspended in the sunlight just outside the visitor’s reception shed at Hollister House and so had caught my attention when i was working there as receptionist on Friday.

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I did a little sketch of them while i was there but couldn’t really concentrate as we had so many visitors. I then tried to do another study here at home. They were glowing like lanterns. Perhaps tomorrow i’ll finish up the bigger painting i’ve begun to show a bit more of the setting but, anyway here is one of them.

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9×12 hot press w/c

Holly

Angel in the dust

Magic Moments-by the Sea

(a very expensive)

Visit to the Sea

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Sketch made on the way home on the ferry 5×8

Only one thing slightly marred

A trip to Martha’s Vineyard

 

This visit to the sea-

 

There was no one there,

No one to really care,

No one to hold my hand-

Painting at the edge of sand-

 

I lost control of me

 

For spirits high and running fast

I joined another bather in a painting by Potthast

But real waves lifted, slapped me down

My glasses now, will never-more be found

 

-Reality —

  

Driving home with that companion

His silence in rebuke now makes me stir,

“How could you go in with your glasses still on!”

And, My world’s reduced, to a water-color blur

 

Begging to be free-

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w/c #3  11 1/2X15 hot-press

Breaking waves are hard to paint! I think I’ll be working on this motif for quite some time.

Holly (Angel in the dust)

Magic Moments-are not forever

If you love someone tell them now. If you have a loved one, pet or person, paint their portrait now. i have some drawings but never found the fortitude to do a painting of Robyn  and now he’s gone.

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Rob n Run photo taken July 2015

July 21, 2017

Robyn passed today-this morning at about 9:30 we let him go.

Anne had gone out to feed him and found him down, hot and in distress.

She cooled him with the hose and finally coaxed him to his feet. He was able to walk across the pasture and move into the shade but went down again almost immediately this time on his other side. When the Vet finally got here the diagnosis was a badly twisted colon and the choice either surgery (not a good one for a 32 year old thoroughbred) or a painful death. The second dose of pain-killer was putting him to sleep. We allowed the vet to euthanize him there in the shade at the top of the meadow.

On a sun-filled morning with a soft summer breeze Ann lost her best friend, a friend of 23 years. She discovered him; neglected in a cow pasture,(the fate of many a gelded racehorse that will not tolerate confinement in a starting gate), and brought him home to Esperanza to begin a new life. He’s been with her ever since she was 13. He saw her through the tough years of junior high and high school He saw her through college and endured until she returned from graduate school in Edinburgh. During those 6 years that Anne was away he gave Jamie a reason to get up morning after morning. He was our constant companion.

He gave me memories that will last a life time and courage and understanding as well- And I am crying too hard now to keep writing this….

Rob N Run, grandson of Secretariat and Native Dancer, so sweet in the stable, such a streak of temper and fire under saddle, you will be greatly missed: Your stubborn determination always to be outside roaming free regardless of the weather, your grudging acquiescence to getting on a trailer (and the time you simply wouldn’t) your high jinks at events like rearing when you got to X (instant disqualification-did you know the rules?), your complacency when other horses misbehaved, your complete distrust of jumps made out of wood but willingness to breast anything made out of stone or steel regardless of its height or breadth, your flashing speed and incredible length of stride and lazy daisy-cutting walk, Your great big head that rubbed against little me I loved it all. I’d cheerfully hold up your head to put applesauce and antibiotics down your throat. I’d soak your foot to help ease the abscess and brush your furry coat but now you are in heaven or wherever horses go. Just one thing I am sure of; you’re here with me wherever I may be.

I had to wonder this morning when you passed did Joker neigh across the field and are you with your friend at last?

We miss you, Robby

holly

Magic Moments-Rooted

Rooted

 

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I’m rooted in my past

The third but not the last

Two older siblings

Rivalry took wings

 

The runt could best

Or certainly could cheat

Her little sister in the game.

Yet to achieve the same

 

With the bigger, older one

Required something much more fun.

A hard-core stubbornness was born

And gradually became the norm

 

I’d play the game and not give up

Embellish, shine, and strut.

It didn’t matter she was smart

I had her walloped from the start

 

As for that brother-He could annoy-

Until I beat him fair like any boy.

The point is- I’m a stubborn lass

Persistence is rooted in my past

 

We grow and change, we learn

Perhaps we lean a bit-

But roots stay anchored firm

Unless the whole is hit

 

Holly 170719 (Angel in the dust)

 

 

 

 

Magic Moments-Dreaming

A lovely dream

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An Old Wish

 

Life’s so uncertain

 And that which we would wish for most

 Is often out of reach

 

This very “Now”

It seems that in this breath of time

Is where we must find peace?

 

So struggle on

The moth against the window pane

Or let the dark enfold

 

And gather ‘round

In arms of velvet solitude

With warmth against the cold

 

A quieting

That centers through our mind and soul

Then strange as it may seem

 

It settles down

Till all that we might wish will come

As in a lovely

 

 Dream

 

 

Angel in the dust

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