Magic Moments-A chapter in my Life

Photos from February 2016-

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Late last night on our way home following the Memorial service for my father and mother which i had organized, some hidden obstruction material embedded in the exit ramp slashed both of my right tires. We were returning from what had transpired to be a moving and fulfilling day. I was set to resume my painting and try again to center myself having fulfilled my obligations to my siblings and family.

My car is my only independence. Once again I feel so punished. How does one get past this?

Turn around, away from the computer screen, count your blessings (we are all OK) and pick up the paint brush. I’ll try to post some studies of mergansers ASAP.

Holly

(Angel in the dust)

 

Magic Moments-Still a heart

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I can still hear the surf on Monhegan Island even after a trip yesterday  into New York to visit the Cloisters-such a different world-also one I would love to paint.IMG_6185 (768x1024)

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Then today talking with a fellow artist /photographer I was being urged; strongly urged and encouraged, to visit a nearby farm where I might paint wonderful barns and pumpkins and yet another farm with horses and fall color and, and, and…IMG_6001 (768x1024)

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I need to stay with waves and rocks, asters and goldenrod, dying spruce and moss.

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The spruce woods

I need to slow down and paint!

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Stop the world! I want to get off!!!

 

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And as if that is not enough, Having resumed my morning walks I am seeing reflections in the marsh, flocks of cedar waxwings tipping off soft needled branches in quest of slate blue juniper berries, clouds that pile up in the blue; more images than I could paint to in a life time.

 

Wild flower bouquet from Monhegan that made it home in my back back.

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And it’s all-“One Long Goodbye”

Holly (Angel in the dust)

Magic Moments-On Hold: Out to Sea

Tomorrow i must pack. On Friday I leave for Monhegan Island, a wonderful Mecca for artists off the Maine coast. I came back from there last fall miraculously still in one piece and with a sketchbook of watercolors and drawings. This in spite of having totaled my car the day before I was to leave for the island. There were moments when the air below the cliffs drew me in but I painted them instead of giving in. This time I’ll have a body guard in the form of one very caring husband and my only concern is will I be able to paint at all? For my connection to that life force which gives happiness to endeavor waxes and wanes and often falters entirely. I’ll stay back from the edge.

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I am blessed by having found three other artists who will be coming out with me. They and their spouses will share the cottage with us for the week. It should be fun. Particularly since one of the men has volunteered to be chief cook which removes a big concern of mine. Each couple or individual has their own bedroom. Now all we have to do is find a rhythm for using the bathrooms and other common spaces to meet every one’s needs. We’ll be 7 altogether. Best of all it looks as though we may get pretty decent weather. Let’s hope so! Watercolor in the rain isn’t much fun. And, I am planning to head out to those cliffs again and also into the woods or maybe the village itself. There is so much there to explore and paint to. Who knows what will ignite a fire?

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I’m gathering what the four winds may scatter to live my life between then and now. Nothing-and Everything-matters. I am embracing the New Day and turning toward the morning. I want to find that confidence I lost and with it the happiness I know can be. There is a light within me. If I can find a way to embrace it with my heart i can let it shine out.

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Perhaps if I really try I’ll be able to shut down my conscious mind and hear my truest voice. Most of all let me concentrate on painting and then painting some more.

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Holly (Angel in the dust)

Magic Moments-Petals and Peaches

Painting for therapy                                                                   34 pints: half way.

it’s dark      -inside-         and the petals are falling

-outside-

Its a beautiful late summers day…

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Petals and Peaches

Moulin Rouge, Bright fallen stars

Summer’s at an end

Angel in the dust

Magic Moments-are not forever

If you love someone tell them now. If you have a loved one, pet or person, paint their portrait now. i have some drawings but never found the fortitude to do a painting of Robyn  and now he’s gone.

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Rob n Run photo taken July 2015

July 21, 2017

Robyn passed today-this morning at about 9:30 we let him go.

Anne had gone out to feed him and found him down, hot and in distress.

She cooled him with the hose and finally coaxed him to his feet. He was able to walk across the pasture and move into the shade but went down again almost immediately this time on his other side. When the Vet finally got here the diagnosis was a badly twisted colon and the choice either surgery (not a good one for a 32 year old thoroughbred) or a painful death. The second dose of pain-killer was putting him to sleep. We allowed the vet to euthanize him there in the shade at the top of the meadow.

On a sun-filled morning with a soft summer breeze Ann lost her best friend, a friend of 23 years. She discovered him; neglected in a cow pasture,(the fate of many a gelded racehorse that will not tolerate confinement in a starting gate), and brought him home to Esperanza to begin a new life. He’s been with her ever since she was 13. He saw her through the tough years of junior high and high school He saw her through college and endured until she returned from graduate school in Edinburgh. During those 6 years that Anne was away he gave Jamie a reason to get up morning after morning. He was our constant companion.

He gave me memories that will last a life time and courage and understanding as well- And I am crying too hard now to keep writing this….

Rob N Run, grandson of Secretariat and Native Dancer, so sweet in the stable, such a streak of temper and fire under saddle, you will be greatly missed: Your stubborn determination always to be outside roaming free regardless of the weather, your grudging acquiescence to getting on a trailer (and the time you simply wouldn’t) your high jinks at events like rearing when you got to X (instant disqualification-did you know the rules?), your complacency when other horses misbehaved, your complete distrust of jumps made out of wood but willingness to breast anything made out of stone or steel regardless of its height or breadth, your flashing speed and incredible length of stride and lazy daisy-cutting walk, Your great big head that rubbed against little me I loved it all. I’d cheerfully hold up your head to put applesauce and antibiotics down your throat. I’d soak your foot to help ease the abscess and brush your furry coat but now you are in heaven or wherever horses go. Just one thing I am sure of; you’re here with me wherever I may be.

I had to wonder this morning when you passed did Joker neigh across the field and are you with your friend at last?

We miss you, Robby

holly

Magic Moments- within

Depression can take a terrible tole on one’s life and on ones loved ones too. The last post i made included a painting of a nuthatch in our red-bud. I actually had begun this painting  almost 2 years ago and was only recently able to return to it and finish it by painting in the tree branches. For over a year i have struggled to return to the intense happiness that painting used to bring. i don’t know yet where my story will end Holly angel sculture by Kelsey but i can say that it is so important to have people who care and believe in you. If you know of someone suffering from depression don’t give up on them.

For me a turning point surely occurred when I discovered this early photo of me on the breakfast table a few weeks ago.

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It was snapped while I was out sketching on the hillside behind the trailer we used to live in up in Vermont.  With the photo was just a little note in my husbands hand,”I’d like this person back.” It makes all the difference to know someone cares. He loves the artist in me, and knowing that is so important to me.

I am working on finding and reconstructing her. it may take a while but I’ll do my best. If I post less frequently its because I only want to post solid accomplishments: paintings i feel good about.  In the mean time I continue to avidly read  your posts and deeply appreciate your comments. Keep up the good camaraderie and enjoy your work! And, please don’t forget to look for mine rare though it may be!

I shall repeat this poem of Rumi’s from my last post. For me it speaks volumes.

“Let yourself be silently drawn,

by the strange pull

of what you really love.

It will not lead you astray.”

Holly

Holly angel sculture by Kelsey (2)
Sculpture by Kelsey

Holly angel sculture by Kelsey (2)

(Angel in the dust)

Magic Moments-in R-verse

Can I write my Muse a poem?

 

 

Pen picks up as paint brush falls

Can I write my Muse a poem?

Reaching out ‘cross time he calls

On plaintive cry of circling gulls

Beyond wave on wave of foam

Stranded there so far from home

 

The home that I would wish were ours

A place secure in peacefulness

Serene and dark beneath the stars

Where less is more and more is less

A place where I could set my head to rest

In love and contemplation on his chest.

 

Then mind and body melting into one

That steady beat would drown all sound

Till our two hearts leap welcome to the sun

  The center of our universe is found

 With darkness gone, a New Day starts

While we content, embrace our arts

 

 In joy the paintbrush dances bright with fun

And colors pulse and move and run

 

angel in the dust

PS i lack the focus required to paint the peach and cherry the way i would like to. Luckily I’m about to head off to a concert and that should divert my mind. Hurray for music-especially live music.

Magic Moments-looking up

the Red maples are in bloom everywhere turning the hillsides into layered clouds of silver and pink. My friend said stop and sketch from here and so i did.

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Stillman & Birn sketchbook 51/2×81/2

I should have used Alizarin Crimson instead of my old stand-by Vermillion. I don’t think i’d really woken up yet or connected with what i was seeing. i did switch to Cobalt and Aureolin at least. The truth is that when one looks at the flowers up close they really are close to vermillion only distance adds the blue.

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same Stillman & Birn sketchbook, Tombow pen and colored pencil

thought for the day:

“…The circle of love is deep and strong. It can forgive mistakes and cast out error. It can foster greatness and bring forth new life.

…This is our function in each other’s lives: to hold the space for each other’s beauty, that our beloved can leave us and we still feel in his (or her) absence how beautiful we are.”

Marianne Williamson from A Woman’s World

 

And a painting in words just for you-

 a  New Day

 

Shards of silver break like glass

Slender black and bending boughs

Spring free of snow and icy mass.

Held down, imprisoned up ‘till now

They shake; stretch out, to greet the sun

Raining brilliants down upon a day begun…

 

Slowly Summer claims her own

Dense drifts melt back to sparkling rill

Ephemeral flowers crown her throne

Dark pools sustain a peeper’s trill

A thrush sings softly in the wood

Two ferns emerge where once

 

We stood

Angel in the dust

yh

Magic Moments-

Time to post as painting seems impossible.

Today I took many of my paintings from last year to the newly formed Farmington River Artists Guild in the Hurley building to see if they might find buyers and new homes; A sad moment for me as they were painted under sunnier skies but it’s time to move on. Perhaps the new plein-air group will take hold and keep me focused. Check out their schedule on: https://litchfieldhillspleinairsketchersandpainters.wordpress.com

I ‘m not sure what is next-carry on i guess. So…here is a poem for you and some recent photographs to enjoy. Take care and find joy in the new day.IMG_2777 (1024x768).jpgMagic Moments Pass Us By

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Now of my three score years and ten – soon-

 Seventy will not come again

About the woodland i will go

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And wonder at the mirrored calm

That hides an overwhelming qualm

 Of fear that clenches at my heart

Sad thoughts that this is just the start

That as the summer fades to fall

The green of fern and moss on wall

Will change to golden orange and rust

While still i hold my heart in trust

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For these are ours to share

Tho’ you will not be there

Angel in the dust

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Magic Moments-gone awry

My Dear Readers, I am so sorry if I have not responded to you.

Recently I began to notice that my Word Press Reader contained things which were not showing up in my Inbox and wondered that no one had contacted me. Finally at the suggestion of my husband I checked the spam folder on my account. For months, perhaps even since I began this blog last summer comments, likes, and contacts, even new posts have been treated as spam by my computer. Only items from the last month are still available in that folder. My chest already hurts 24/7. This breaks my heart. From now on I will be checking the spam folder as well as my inbox and I will try to solve this misbehavior on the part of my computer.

“Contacts” (found in the header above my post) is an excellent way to reach me privately and will not show up as a comment on my blog. Please feel free to use it-I’ll make sure it doesn’t end up in spam again. Otherwise likes and comments are always appreciated and posts are eagerly anticipated.

You are an awesome community of artists and writers and all very special to me.

Holly

your Angel in the dust (again!)

PS

On a happier note: the crocuses are blooming, a purple river with whitecaps all along the drive and the cardinal wakes the morning with his lilting melody. I even planted some lettuce seeds and prepared a row for snow peas. A year has passed and spring is back (at least in this hemisphere!). Will we all grow and send out blossom? that is my hope for you.

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a painting from last year

 

 

 

-help me find the joy to paint again. It is possible-it must be.—somehow.-